Among Thailand’s most sought-after tourism destinations are the tropical islands—Ko Samui, Koh Pha Ngan, and Ko Tao. Israeli regulars to Thailand will offer several reasons why they keep coming back: the beautiful beaches; luxury resorts that can go for US$50/night; cheap, professional massages on every corner (US$12/hour on average); and the smiles of the Thai people.
An hour and a half flight from the capital of Bangkok, Ko Samui is the largest of the trio that also forms the crux of Israeli tourism. Walk down the bustling, main thoroughfare of Chaweng, the island’s popular tourist hub, and you’ll be accosted with “shalom” if you look the least bit Israeli, especially by restaurateurs, coconut vendors, and masseuses (the “kosher” kind). How bad could that be? But choose restaurants wisely. If you keep “kosher style,” you must tell servers you are deathly allergic to oyster, shrimp, or prawns, as the slippery creatures seem to be the national spice.
For safe fish and sushi, try the chic Tai by Red Snapper or the Western-style Wine Collection located right near the handy-dandy Starbucks and a plush mall.
You can expect a Thai server to answer “yes” to anything you say, which is why is one reason why several Israeli ex-pats have made successful businesses on the island. Hummus bars and Israeli cafes, like Basilicom, dot the crowded street, and branches of Israeli tourism operators, like IsraTours and LaMetayel, can give you real, straight answers. Use these operators if you want to book nature tours that are the island’s specialty: outings in 4-by-4s to elephant and crocodile shows, waterfalls, and Buddhist temples.
But the adventurer’s mystique has faded ever since Thailand became an Israeli hotspot decades ago. The Thai tourism machine is well-oiled, and according to veteran tourists, increasingly expensive. But that doesn’t mean the Thai crocodile trainers will be afraid to stick their head inside a crocodile’s mouth—you won’t see that at Sea World!
Those in search of Jewish spirituality should opt for Chabad’s Friday night services, about five minutes away from “hookers row,” a grimy street lined with unkosher massage parlors and Thai prostitutes who are known to call Israelis “kamtzan” (miser) if they refuse their aggressive advances. But Chabad is the cure. A mixture of post-Israeli army trekkers, partiers, honeymooners, and businessman unite with the tribe for beautiful song and divrei Torah provided by Rabbi Mendy’s outgoing, wholesome daughters.
If you want to go easy on the sleazy, try the quieter Ko Samui beaches, like Lamai Beach, home to brand-name and specialty five-star resorts.
But Koh Phan Ngan, about an hour ferry ride away, is the honeymooner’s paradise—as long as you avoid the electronic “Full Moon” raves. Here, you won’t even need to step out onto the streets. Just book a luxury resort, like at the incredible, luscious, and alarmingly affordable Santhiya Resort and Spa, where Thai employees literally bow to you at every turn, making you feel like Buddha. The wood-carved furniture of the rooms, the eucalyptus smelling spa, and the garden pool overlooking the ocean make it the place to spend time with that one person with whom you don’t mind being stuck on a deserted island.
Almost all tourists spend a few days in Bangkok. Israelis love to shop for those Rolex, Ralph Lauren, and Armani knock-offs. The MBK knock-off souk is overrated, so try instead the hippy-haven Kaho San Road. Bangkok’s mall-culture is first class; there seems to be a mega-mall on every corner of the main artery, Sukhumvit. Use the tuk-tuk to get around and feel the city, and make sure you try the Thai street food (but remember the allergy trick). Day tours of the Buddhist temples or a nearby safari could be booked at most hotels for about US$50; just bear in mind the tour guide may be more of an escort since English is not their forte.
For the ultimate Israeli and Jewish welcome, see the famous Cabaret show, in which Thai transvestites put on an elaborate, surreal, blue and white, semi-professional rendition of Hava Nagila. It’s the apt tribute to the entire Thailand-Jewish-Israeli experience.