On Dec. 22, United Synagogue Youth (USY) announced a change to its policy on interdating for young leaders. In this week’s CJN, we explore the controversial decision by the youth wing of Conservative Judaism and what it means for the greater Conservative movement.

As Rabbi Adam Cutler explains in an engaging dialogue with Rabbi Baruch Frydman-Kohl, the previous wording directed USY leaders to “refrain from relationships which can be construed as interdating.” The new language, by contrast, encourages young Conservative authorities to “strive to model healthy Jewish dating choices” – which includes “recognizing the importance of dating within the Jewish community.”

The difference between the old and new text is small, and interdating remains taboo, albeit perhaps less so than before. Moreover, the decision affects a tiny number of young Jewish leaders. As United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism CEO Rabbi Steven Wernick tells CJN reporter Sheri Shefa, the interdating rule – both the old one and the new one – is enforceable only for “kids who wish to become regional officers or international officers or board members.” That’s less than 100 people in total.

Even so, some Conservative leaders are welcoming the amendment as a sign of greater progress. “The previous language was negative, and they replaced it with positive language,” Rabbi Stephen Schwarzman of Shaar Shalom Synagogue in Toronto tells Shefa. “I think it’s an effort to be in step with the times, and when I say that, I don’t mean it negatively, I mean it positively.” 

Meanwhile, in an article in this week’s CJN, Emma Pascoe, a recent USY leader, argues, “USYers aren’t denying that dating within the faith is an important principle. However, they note that some USYers come from families where only one parent may have grown up in a Jewish home, or who may have at one point had a relationship with a non-Jew.” For Pascoe, the change in language is proof that “values of respect and inclusivity are alive and well in today’s Conservative Jewish youth.”   

But for other Conservative leaders, the USY amendment sets a dangerous precedent. Rabbi Jarrod Grover, the spiritual leader of Beth Tikvah Synagogue in Toronto, pulled no punches when he spoke to Shefa. “I think this shows a weakening of the movement’s principles,” he said, “and I am appalled about what happened.” 

“I think it is important that the movement knows what it believes in, as it should know what it does not believe in,” he continued, “and that’s the problem. That we are afraid to say what we do not believe in.” 

Rabbi Cutler maintains that “a generous reading of the amendment would result in no practical change.” And yet, he admits “a subtle practical shift has, in fact, taken place.” 

The USY decision is only a few weeks old, and it remains to be seen to what extent the actions of young leaders will affect the greater Conservative movement. Conservative decision-makers are already taking sides on the matter, and time will tell whether the two opposing viewpoints can find some middle ground. As Rabbi Frydman-Kohl tells Rabbi Cutler, “bridges are important, but there also have to be borders.” 

The question is: when do you build bridges, and when do you secure your borders?