Who knows what you learned last summer?

Learn how to play musical instruments on rooftops in Poland

Every winter, the Yiddish students of the world look forward to the summer when, let loose from the dreary halls of academe, they can roam the globe studying the mamaloshen. Thankfully, the Yiddish academic blog InGeveb has done the legwork to compile a list for said students and Yiddish seekers that aggregates some of the best the globe has to offer.

These include Yiddishkayt’s Helix Program in eastern Europe, the Uriel Weinreich Summer Program in New York City, and the Ot Azoy! Summer Yiddish Program in London, among many global others. But, being ever the pessimistic ones in perpetual YidLife Crisis, and truly in the business of the real pleasure in life, which clearly is avoiding painful experiences (again, YOU’RE WELCOME), we did the research to find the worst or most questionable Yiddish programs on the planet. Again, this is just what we do, and we must repeat, that there is no need to thank us. (But we’re not saying a card wouldn’t be nice…)

1. For those who crave grim-but-historically-accurate, full-bodied experiences, Ukraine’s “Yiddish Summer in Darkness” program offers an immersion in Yiddish in the sewers of Lemberg (today, L’viv).

The program is appropriate for all levels. Some discomfort mandatory. Rickets optional. Program lasts from two months to two years (whenever the Red Army arrives and ends the program).

2. YiddishPharma is your traditional Yiddish pharmaceutical summer program, traditional in that you must dress modestly in the clean room. Students work to produce high-grade pharmaceuticals and are required to pay for the privilege. Special courses offered in inflationary drug pricing.

WATCH: AN INTERVIEW WITH JAMIE & ELI FROM YIDLIFE CRISIS

Basic knowledge of organic chemistry preferred. Housing: corrugated tin hovel (tin optional). Tuition: $7,999 (exclusive of transportation).

3. Under the slogan “We bring the Magic Mountain to Moyshe,” this summer program in the High Tatras combines a number of successful models of Yiddish summer programming: European travel, bucolic landscapes, incomprehensible teachers and severe bodily distress.

Join the inmates of Medem Sanatorium 2016 for a not-so-restful stay in a classic consumption sanatorium. Sing traditional anarchist songs, have daily sputum checks, mourn your non-
existent childhood.

Disclaimer: risk of contracting tuberculosis from other students is more likely than recovery. Tuition: $1,400 (but, to be fair, BYOW – bring your own wine).

4. So many books, so little space. Spend this summer helping create green solutions in Yiddish book waste management. Ever wonder what happens to the volumes of Yiddish books that are too worn out or mouldy for reading? Join a cadre of Yiddish students to find out on the Shredder Yiddish Summer.

Appropriate for all levels. Non-disclosure agreements must be signed and notarized before the start date.

5. Given the success of Yiddish programs housing participants in yurts in barren wildernesses, it’s no surprise there are students who want to go off the grid with a wandering band of spiritual seekers. This year’s trip looks at the collective history of Jews who fled to Central Asia and lived alongside various nomadic groups in rural Kazakhstan.

Must read and write using 1930s Soviet Yiddish orthography. Some experience in sheep pasturing is a plus, as is the mastery of fretless lute-like instruments.

6. “A fiddler on the roof, sounds crazy, no?” No, not at all actually. A team of architects, ethnomusicologists, and acrobats take students throughout Poland to play music on rooftops throughout the land.

Perfect for all Yiddish students who wish to combine their love of traditional Jewish ornamentation in architecture and music. Good sense of balance an asset. Good sense of music a strong asset. Anatevkan roots strongly preferred.

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In all seriousness (or let’s at least say more seriousness), there really are all sorts of Yiddish classes, in the fleish and on the veb, that can allow you to refine your skills in the Yiddish language and immerse you in Yiddish culture. You just have to have the curiosity and the drive to go out and find them. 

Check out our videos of searching for Yiddish and Yiddishkayt in Tel Aviv as part of our Global Shtetl project at our website.


Chaimie and Leizer are Jamie Elman and Eli Batalion, co-creators of the world’s first online Yiddish sitcom YidLife Crisis.