Rabbi Paysach Krohn: become a giving person

Rabbi Paysach Krohn

Rabbi Paysach Krohn, a New York-based fifth-generation mohel was 21 when he became the youngest mohel ever certified. He is the author of 12 books, eight of which are part of a series that feature stories and anecdotes inspired by Rabbi Sholom Schwadron, a man known as the “Maggid of Jerusalem,” and a lecturer on the subjects of ethics and spiritual growth. He spoke to The CJN in advance of his Sept. 20 lecture in Toronto, sponsored by Eitz Chaim Day School and held at Beth Avraham Yoseph of Toronto Congregation in Thornhill.

What message are you bringing with you to the Toronto Jewish community?

I’m speaking about the act of giving. I’m talking about repentance during the period between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur and how we can improve ourselves.

I think one of the most important things is that every Jew should not only be thinking about what is best for them, but what is best for others and to become a giving person. And when you become a giving person, that is how you become closer to God because God sees that you care for others and in return, God cares for you. It’s a measure for measure type of thing.

I’m talking about giving of your talents, giving of your time and giving of your energy. In the Torah, there is a word, venotnu. It’s a palindrome and you can read it back and forth. It means, and “they shall give.” What the commentaries explain is that word, which means to give to others, or that they shall give, is a palindrome because when you give to others, you get back as well.

What are some of the modern day challenges that might get in the way of spiritual growth?

There is no question that the lure of what’s available on the Internet, what is available in general in the world takes away from spiritual growth. There is no question that what everyone is exposed to, not only children, is a great deal of immorality, a great deal of freedom, a great deal of things that are really against what the Torah would want a Jew to be like.

What are some of the biggest crises young Jews face today that may not have been issues in past generations?

The fact that many of us text and email puts a [strain] on relationships, on emotional relationships. We utter two words to each other and that is enough. In years gone by, if a writer like yourself wanted to interview somebody, you would have to call them. You and I corresponded, until today with email ,and each email was five or 10 words at the most. You can’t build relationships and friendships that way. There is no emotional stability. Because of that, there are many people who are lacking the capability of being close to other people.

There are husbands and wives who are texting each other and are not talking to each other. One of the things I ask in some of my speeches is, “When was the last time you had a conversation with your child? When was the last time a husband and wife had a conversation?”

What might be standing in the way of someone’s ability to give of oneself?

Unfortunately, today, we have a tremendous amount of needs. We have financial needs, we have emotional needs and we have social needs. And when people feel they are not satisfied, either financially, emotionally or socially, they do not look to help others in that vein, because they are too busy getting satisfied and getting what they feel they need to have a decent life.

How would you guide someone in taking the first steps towards getting in the habit of giving of oneself?

One of the things I always propose, and many people have followed it, is to keep a notebook where you do one favour for someone else every single day. You do not go to sleep until you have done a favour for someone else. I’m not talking about a husband to his wife, or parents to children. That you do because that is what life is all about. You have to do that if you know what is good for you and want to have a decent relationship with your spouse. You have to do good for each other. But I’m talking about something out of the house.

I’ll give you a small example, something I’m involved with right now. There is a person who is in jail and I write him a postcard every single day. He’s in jail for whatever reason. He made a mistake and he’s doing his time, but the whole world has forgotten about him. Who writes him? Who goes to see him? His family is far away so they can’t always get there. He is basically a forgotten person, but he’s a human being and he’s going to be out eventually. But when someone writes him a card, it makes him feel that somebody cares.

Do a favour for someone, whether it is taking a child to school, visiting someone in a nursing home, making a call to someone who is alone, or getting involved in helping a widow or a divorced single mother. Single mothers are one of the most neglected [groups] in society. I’m involved with widow organizations and divorced mother organizations.

Call a woman who is alone at home with her kids. For the widow, everyone has compassion, but not so much with divorced women, for whatever reason. Call her and say, “Listen, I’m at Costco, I’m shopping, is there anything I can pick up for you?” Do you know what that does to a person? That is an unbelievable act of concern. It’s a small thing, but it means so much to them.

You made that person’s day because you made them feel that somebody cares.

This interview has been edited and condensed for style and clarity.