For more than 25 years, Penny Krowitz has been heading Toronto’s shelter for abused Jewish women and working tirelessly to advocate for victims of domestic abuse. 

But she wishes she didn’t have to.

“In 1989, we opened the first kosher shelter in Toronto for abused Jewish women. It is open to this day. We’d like to close it, but unfortunately, we can’t,” said Krowitz, executive director of the non-profit organization Act To End Violence Against Women (ATEVAW).

Krowitz and other service providers across the country who work on behalf of Jewish domestic abuse victims said raising awareness and working toward lasting solutions is the only way to eradicate domestic abuse.

“We are very committed to education and awareness. It is an important point because, for most people in our community, they don’t believe it happens to us,” Krowitz said.

According to the Jewish Coalition Against Domestic Abuse, one in four women experience domestic abuse during their lifetime, and abuse occurs in the Jewish community at the same rate as in the community at large.

Janice Shaw, Jewish Family & Child’s York Region direct service manager, said we can’t hope to solve a problem without acknowledging it first.

“At any given time, we have approximately 300 and some odd cases open… for every one that closes, three open sometimes… In spite of it all, there is still a myth that Jewish men are not abusive. And clearly our services and other services indicate that this is not that case,” Shaw said.

“It is very important that there is lots of outreach and communication amongst Jewish leaders in different capacities in schools, in shuls, etc.”

JF&CS runs a synagogue outreach program to encourage rabbis to speak to their congregants about the issue, and Krowitz also sees the value in using Jewish community leaders as a resource.

“I want to set up meetings with several rabbis in the Conservative movement, in the Orthodox movement, the Reform movement and go talk to them one on one about the issue and what they can do if they have a woman in their congregation who comes to them,” Krowitz said.

“We would encourage… rabbis to do a sermon about it because the minute the rabbi does a sermon about it, he gives credibility to the issue.”

Diane Sasson, executive director of Auberge Shalom Pour Femmes, Montreal’s kosher women’s shelter, also thinks having community leaders speaking out on the issue is part of the solution.

She said that over the past 15 years, she has noticed that Jewish leaders are more receptive to the goals of her organization.

Sasson referred to an article in La Voix Sépharade, a Quebec-based Jewish magazine, which highlighted religious sources to show how Judaism is meant to protect women from violence and abuse. 

“We need to use the sources we have in our community, and we need to use those positive sources and really try to protect women and honour what we’re supposed to honour,” she said.

“We have the tools to work with, Jewishly, and I think our leaders and our rabbis need to speak about it, need to know it exists, need to talk about it, need to make internal policies in the synagogues.”

Shaw agrees that for real, measurable progress to be made, the solutions have to be “more systemic than clinical.

“Overall, we really need to start educating, not only our daughters, but our sons, much, much earlier on about acceptable behaviour. And that’s the systemic piece, and that’s across the board. The same message needs to be given across the board.”

Sasson said there should be better laws in place to protect women.

“We know that even if a woman has a restraining order… it doesn’t mean that he’s not going to hurt her. I think there are a lot of areas that need continuous lobbying, and we also have to be vigilant because things fall through the cracks very quickly. And so we have to make sure that the government is keeping up with their promises and changes that are required. It’s not only about getting better, it’s protecting what we’ve already accomplished,” Sasson said.

“We go backwards a lot, government-wise. Women’s issues aren’t in the portfolio for the government any more. We’ve been filtered into general services. I think we lose a lot and we have to keep fighting to keep it.”

Krowitz said that in the 25 years she’s been at the helm of ATEVAW, there has been some progress, but not enough.

“We live in a world that celebrates violence,” she said, referring to the highest grossing films, television shows and video games.

“I think what has happened to society is that it has become desensitized to violence. We live in a disrespectful society in many ways.

“We need a seismic shift in our culture in order for an issue like this to go away.”