The Three Weeks

Grief and sadness are not major elements of the Jewish religion. Our
holidays are festivals during which we are commanded to be joyful and
content. Yet, when a loved one passes away, we mourn at the shivah, and
we grieve for 12 months for the loss of a parent.

This grief is on a personal level. But during the ninth day of the month of Av, Tisha b’Av, and for the three weeks leading up to it, we mourn for the loss of our holy temples, our continued exile and for the many tragedies that have befallen our people during this time.

These three weeks of mourning are broken up into three periods of time, each with successively more stringent restrictions on joyful activities.

We began two Sundays ago, with the 17th of the month of Tammuz. It marks the day the walls of Jerusalem were breached by the Romans. We fasted from sunrise to sunset, added the prayer of Avinu Malkeinu (Our Father, Our King) to the Shacharit and Minchah services, and read a special Haftorah taken from Isaiah that aroused us to sadness and repentance. Beginning with the 17th of Tammuz, the custom is to refrain from haircuts, shaving, listening to music and purchasing new items, such as clothes, cars or houses.  

The next, more intensive period of mourning, begins on Rosh Chodesh Av. Known as “menachem Av” (comforting Av), this marks the time the siege on both temples began. The Talmud in Taanit (26b) tells us, “When Av enters, we diminish our happiness.” The Mishnah Berurah (Orach Chaim 551) states that beginning with Av, we do not bathe for pleasure, nor do we eat meat or drink wine. We use these days of mourning to reflect on both our continued exile and our own misdeeds. The Shabbat before Tisha b’Av is known as Shabbat Chazon (Shabbat of vision). This refers to the special Haftorah we read from Isaiah (1:1-27), in which the prophet forewarns us of the pending destruction and exile.

The Talmud in Tractate Yoma lists the five prohibitions we accept for ourselves during Yom Kippur and Tisha b’Av. As on Yom Kippur, we abstain from eating and drinking, washing, wearing leather shoes, applying oils and having sexual relations. Learning Torah is likewise forbidden, with the exception of studying areas that deal with tragic events. But while Yom Kippur is a yom tov (holiday), and although we afflict ourselves to atone for our sins, there’s still an element of simchah. Tisha b’Av, though, is sad and mournful. We sit a collective shivah, remembering all the calamities we have endured through our history.

These mourning customs commence on the night before Tisha b’Av, when we read the book of Eicha (Lamentations). Just like a mourner, we remove our shoes, sit on the floor and refrain from greeting one another. At night, we should sleep without pillows or on the floor. The morning Shacharit prayers are recited in a quiet voice, without wearing a tallit or tfillin. We then say kinot, special prayers remembering the tragedies we have suffered. There have been many kinot composed about our exile, the Crusades and even the Holocaust.

As we do when we get up from shivah, we begin to experience our consolation on the afternoon of Tisha b’Av. We sit on regular chairs and wear our tallit and tefillin during the Minchah prayers. After dark, one may eat and drink once again. But we still observe all the other prohibitions of the nine days, until midday on the 10th of Av, as both temples continued burning until then.

The Talmud in Maasechet Taanit (30b) tells us, “Whoever mourns for Jerusalem will rejoice in its rebuilding.” Let us use these days of sorrow properly, so that we may merit the ultimate redemption with the coming of Mashiach.