Life is funny. Some of the most optimistic and positive people I have ever met and interviewed are people who have lost everything, yet are able to pick up the pieces and shine light into other peoples lives.

Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

I don’t have to go far to find people I admire. My father was orphaned at the age of 11, and while he had an extremely difficult childhood, somehow he turned into a kind, generous man who always finds the good in people.

He focuses on the positive and on what he has going for him as opposed to what is missing. It’s a true talent. He’s also always willing to give people a chance.

One day he caught a kid who was spraying graffiti on his office building and called the police. It was a teenager, a first-time offender, a kid with no father.

Instead of pressing charges, my father gave him a job and took him to lunch, trying to give him guidance and goals. The police officers were shocked. Dad simply responded, “everyone needs a second chance.”

Rosh Hashanah is coming up once again, and it’s our second chance to reflect on the past and become better people.  It’s not an easy task to figure out what to do to make our lives different and better, but the one thing I have learned is the more positive I am, the happier I am, despite not always getting what I want.

Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis, a Holocaust survivor who has a magnetic energy about her, explained how her past influenced her future.

“Everyone is impacted by their backgrounds,” she said.

“Hungary was the last country to be invaded by the Nazis, but prior to the occupation, Jewish young men were deported by Hungarian zsandars to slave labour camps, and Szeged became a staging area for these boys.

“My father visited them,” she said, “but he was searched, so my parents came up with the idea that I would accompany my father and, in the lining of my coat, my mom would place medicines, letters from families and food. Thus, as a young child, I learned that we are our brothers’ keepers, and we have a responsibility to the Jewish people.”

So while events of the past might pull you down, it seems the most optimistic people take even the most trying experiences and turn them around to bring light into the world.

In 1973, Rebbetzin Jungreis started Hineni, which was one of the first outreach organizations in the world. Her goal was to stop the escalation of assimilation – the spiritual Holocaust that was decimating American Jewry.

“My message is simple – know the Torah and study it from beginning to end. The book will speak to you. It will tell you how to live and what to do,” she said.

Another role model is Gerda Weissmann Klein, an Academy Award winner for the documentary One Survivor Remembers, and a Holocaust survivor who lost her entire family in the concentration camps.

She works tirelessly to change the world, from alleviating hunger to spending time with teenagers, as she did with the kids who years ago experienced the horror of the Columbine shooting.  

She personally knows pain, suffering and loss. She has taken these experiences and empathizes with people who have suffered all sorts of abuse.  

“Pain should not be wasted,” Weismann Klein said. “It should be used to reach out to someone else.  You not only help the other person, you alleviate your own pain.”

About a year ago I was invited to Weissmann Klein’s home to have lunch with eight women, including Carolyn Jessop, the New York Times bestselling author of the book Escape, which chronicles her abusive experience with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.   

Jessop, a Mormon woman, who at the age of 18 became the fourth wife of a 50-year-old man, had eight children in 15 years. She told us hair-raising stories about her life and escape from years of living in fear and abuse.  

Because of Weissmann Klein’s own experience, she reaches out to people like Jessop, as well as to the student who writes to her looking for advice and guidance on finding the light when darkness seems to be prevalent.

She says, “There is something called the magic of life, concealed hope. You look inwards – in most cases, people can focus on the good, especially if they are free.  They are still better off than most people in the world.

“All you need to do is turn on the television and see people running from burning villages fleeing with their children.”

Rosh Hashanah is a time of reflection and a time to make changes. There is definitely something to be learned from people who have not only survived adversity, but have found ways to thrive and impart wisdom.

I always look to a quote I read in the Israel Museum in Jerusalem that exemplifies the worldview of my father, Rebbetzin Jungreis and Weissmann Klein: “Don’t curse the darkness, light a candle.”

Happy New Year. May it be filled with light, love and laughter.

Masada Siegel lives in Scottsdale.  She can be reached at [email protected]