I recently went to South Africa. My son invited me to join his doctoral course, which explored the after-apartheid practices of colleges and universities there. The trip itself was amazing, leaving me with three insights or challenges.

First, if you get a chance to travel with adult children, go for it. Travelling and learning together was an exceptional treat. To begin with, we enjoy each other’s company and we did not have to worry about family matters or the daily stresses and strains of our lives. We were able to focus completely on the moment, on the experience itself and on each other. 

I watched my son with this cohort and appreciated the many ways in which he has grown. His maturity and character were evident even before this. But now my awareness deepened as I observed these accomplished friends react so positively to him. This trip enabled me to understand and value him even more than I had before. And yes, I did receive my share of naches. Travelling is a broadening experience, but it is even more so when you can share it with someone you love. And to do so with one’s child, to see all the vectors of their individuality, integrity and personality blossom is a wondrous thing. 

Emanating out of this sense of togetherness, I also experienced a different aspect of travel. This trip was part of a course. As you know, I teach in a university, both undergraduate and graduate courses. They are not unfamiliar to me. But here I was in an unfamiliar environment, part of a course I had no control over. And I was challenged. Perhaps especially on a trip to an unfamiliar place, we should be open to learning. Learn from every source. Deliberately on vacation, open yourself up to knowledge and discernment.

Of course, we learn geography and fauna and flora on trips. But this experience broadened my knowledge base on many levels. We spent a good amount of time in the universities, meeting with faculty, administrators and students. Each group informed us of their struggles and hopes. They, in turn, were critical and optimistic. The challenge of a post-apartheid state is ever present. They all talked about the necessary “transformation.” Happily, I went to all the university sessions, exposing myself to the classroom experience as well as to the broader issues of education in a racist world.

Racism is an ugly human trait to be avoided at all costs. The “real” apartheid of South Africa was government policy. It was fuelled by political, social and emotional hatred, all codified into rules of behaviour incumbent on all South Africans. It was socially destructive and emotionally shattering. We Jews have known such evils visited upon us by governments and individuals. 

Often my son and I would compare what we were learning with our past Jewish history. There were many differences, so I am not trying to equate anyone’s trials with ours. This is not a competition. But the similarities are instructive. The lessons of social and political animosity and ostracism should be discussed. I felt great empathy while there. And great disgust for the prevailing racism in parts of our own Jewish community. 

Recent posts and articles have exposed some appalling Jewish bigotry. We should not allow it, not in our community, not in our families, not in our lives. Discrimination and intolerance destroy the fabric of our society. Both in Israel and in North America, some Jews are prejudiced, even xenophobic. In these days, after Tisha b’Av, when we try to find comfort and healing from baseless hatred and destruction, we must try to recapture our sense of humanity, of respect for all, of acknowledgement that all were created in God’s image. All!