Our rabbis explained in the following Mishna how they understood Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement.

“If a person said: ‘I will sin and repent, sin and repent,’ he will be given no chance to repent. If he said, ‘I will sin and the Day of Atonement will effect atonement,’ then the Day of Atonement effects no atonement. For transgressions that are between a person and God the Day of Atonement effects atonement, but for transgressions that are between one person and another, the Day of Atonement effects atonement only if he has appeased the other.”

Let’s consider the parts of this Mishna in turn.

“If a person said: ‘I will sin and repent, sin and repent,’ he will be given no chance to repent.” When a person creates a way of life for himself or herself, it’s very difficult to alter that life. We become used to how we do things. Our habits become ingrained in our lives and we find it difficult to change.

A second problem is that we become inured to our shortcomings, and so later in life, even major ones are ignored. We tell little lies to protect ourselves from embarrassment, and we find that lying becomes easier than telling the truth. We say that we want to change, but we do not really want to alter the way we do things.

“If he said, ‘I will sin and the Day of Atonement will effect atonement,’ then the Day of Atonement effects no atonement.” One cannot lead a life devoid of morality and then expect one day of the year to make up for it. Yom Kippur is not an instant, foolproof salvation day. The rabbis felt that Yom Kippur could only bring atonement for those who truly repent. A person who sins thinking that Yom Kippur will save him cannot be truly penitent. Sincere regret is necessary for atonement. The person who thinks he can use Yom Kippur is incapable of sincere repentance.

When we don’t truly recognize that what we are doing is wrong, when we only give lip service to saying that it is a sin – that is, a mistake that we must correct –  we won’t change, because we don’t really believe in our heart that we have to change.

“For transgressions that are between a person and God, the Day of Atonement effects atonement, but for transgressions that are between one person and another, the Day of Atonement effects atonement only if he has appeased the other.” There are two types of sins: ben adam l’makom, between a person and God, and ben adam l’chavero, between two people. When one sins against God, He has the right to forgive, since He is the injured party.

But when one sins against another human being, a person has to make amends to both the person as well as to God. God has no right to forgive before we have appeased the innocent party. That’s why there is a custom to visit with acquaintances during this time of year and seek forgiveness for any injuries we may have committed.

From this Mishna, we can see what our duty is on Yom Kippur. We must attempt to create a change in ourselves so that we are no longer inured to our own misdeeds. We must not regard Yom Kippur as an escape clause that allows us to lead immoral lives. Finally, we must seek the forgiveness of both people and God in order to gain atonement for our sins.

As Rabbi Israel Meir Kagan, the Chofetz Chaim, explained in regard to the custom of beating the heart when we recite the confession of our sins: “God does not forgive the sins of one who smites his heart, but He pardons those whose hearts smite them for their sins.”

May our hearts stir in us the remorse for our sins that will make Yom Kippur truly a day of atonement.

Rabbi Martin Berman is spiritual leader of Shaar Shalom Synagogue in Thornhill, Ont.